The Nugget Challenge – Take Two

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the original nugget challenge, check it out here. Short version: Adam remains a competitive eater, Luke can’t hang with the real competition.

Anyway, fast forward to this past weekend, when Luke, Joe, Alex, myself, and a few others were all discussing the nugget challenge. Add a couple beers and cue our eagerness to try it for ourselves. “It can’t be that bad” we all think. Except Luke. Luke goes along with “I’ll be there to cheer you guys on and record it for the pod!” Except this is Luke, he never showed up because he didn’t believe in us.

We split the challenge three ways, so fifty (5-0) nuggets a piece, and they needed to be Burger King to recreate the original challenge. Now for all of you Burger King haters out there – we are on your side. It’s at the lowest of the low on the ranking of fast food chains. I placed the mobile order, so that I wouldn’t have to say the words “150 nuggets please” to another human being. 

I pull into the drive thru to a laughing cashier. “They hate you in the kitchen, just so you know” he says with a smile. I laugh and pull to the side as it evidently takes a bit to cook this much “chicken.” Eventually I get a sack o’ nuggs and a sack o’ sauce to take to Joe’s. We chose this location as it was away from any other human interaction. Before I leave the parking lot, I text Alex and Joe a picture of the receipt and then “I want you to know this is a terrible idea.” They both agree.

We set the nuggs out on the plates and ready our condiments. We are getting very nervous. Screw it, timer started.

Five minutes in, Joe has a commanding lead at 18 nuggets, Alex with 17, and I had 13. Starting fresh out of the gate, we thought “wow, Luke’s a pussy.”

Ten minutes in, we are still going strong. Joe has 32 down, Alex has 29, and I have 25. We are all at least halfway there and 50 minutes to go. This is going to be easy peasy.

Fifteen minutes in, Joe completes 38, Alex has 35, and I have 32. The consumption pace has dramatically slowed and we all start talking about the sweet release of death. No, stop it. That’s baby talk – this is where the real men shine.

We are all at that nugget. The one that seems unattainable, not to mention the pile of them waiting after. Push through – with a few more, we can get to 2 per 5 minutes. We somehow manage a few more, and at 20 minutes, we are at Joe with 40, Alex with 41, and I had 36.

We are visibly oozing with grease at this point. We still talk every few minutes about how big of a wuss Luke must be. I mean 26, really?!?! I digress, this is about the challenge at hand, even if making Luke look bad was our entire motivation.

25 minutes in and we are walking laps around the room to try to make room. We also are starting to have the permanent taste and texture of nuggs in our mouths. Will this ever go away? We are very clearly struggling at this point. In five minutes, Joe ate 2 for a total of 42, Alex ate 3 for a total of 44, and I had 3 for a total of 39.

30 minutes in, I decided to go for the gold. If I get a few more down, I can really pace myself for the rest of the time. I ate 5 in this five minutes to bring me to 44, Alex downs 2 to get to 46, and Joe downed 3 to get to 45.

The remaining time blurs together. Is it possible for the grease and condiments to actually enter our tear ducts?! Oh God, there’s a monster growing inside us. 

Alex decides to power through and finishes his 50th nugget in minute 45. He looks victorious and defeated at the same time. Joe and I said cheers as we both dunk our 50th nugget in minute 47. 

The aftermath is not pretty. Alex and I both passed out on the couches, and Joe paced back and forth determined to hold the nuggets down. We all make it past the one hour mark. Victory. Sweet, sweet victory.

Just as we finally decide that we can move enough to go home, Alex and I stand up to walk out. A commercial catches our eye on TV… Burger King’s 10 chicken nuggets for $1. We all visibly gag, but hey, maybe for dinner.

This challenge was much harder at the end than I thought. I won’t go into detail of the aftermath in the work bathroom this morning from it, but let’s just say it wasn’t nice. 

Joey has contended that this challenge is easy and he could do 50 in 30 minutes. So, I’ll be buying nuggets and seeing if he can actually do it (my vote is no).

I also think that Luke & Adam need to get back to food challenge Fridays, especially since they don’t really work. Have any ideas for what they should eat?