Hey Gang! Welcome back for another week of football gambling and dirty jokes! I hope you all have had a wonderful week so far and are ready to get into the weekend, but before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s take a quick peek back on last week.
Not good, Not Terrible, We had our first Push of the year which at this point feels like a win. Let’s get to it!
Thursday – Patriots @ Falcons
Well, we’ve officially re-entered “I’m going to feel like a real asshole if I bet against Bill Belichick and Patriots” time again, it looked like we might’ve gotten away from that with Tom Brady moving to Tampa, but the Pats are rolling and every now and then you just have to place a bet that you won’t feel like a dumbass if it loses. If I bet on the Patriots and the Falcons cover, I’ll assume the Falcons played a good game and tell myself sometimes you lose a bet, If I bet against the Patriots and lose the bet I’ll spend most of Friday calling myself a dumbass, so let’s just try to avoid that. Pats -6.5
Saturday – Michigan State @ Ohio State
Ohio State and Purdue just got done scoring 90 points combined last week. And that involved a semi-competent Purdue defense. Michigan State comes in with the worst passing defense in FBS. They play pass defense about as well as I gamble so watch out. And they will have to face QB CJ Stroud and three future NFL receivers. The Spartans’ offense is going to get its share as well. These teams should pass this number before the third quarter ends so lets just sit back and enjoy the fireworks. Over 68.5
Saturday – Florida State @ Boston College
Boston College is a vastly different (Better) team when QB Phil Jurkovec is healthy. Since he returned from injury, the Eagles have beaten Georgia Tech and Virginia Tech each by double digits. Florida State isn’t going to be fired up to go play in a cold weather game in Boston, they’re probably already looking ahead to next week’s rivalry game with Florida. BC -2.5
Saturday – North Texas @ FIU
FIU has recently turned into the college football version of Real Housewives. Coach Butch Davis, after learning he would not be retained, went scorched earth on the school administration, accusing it of “sabotaging the program”. It is unclear if he will work this game or step aside. Either way, the Panthers will be ill-prepared for a foe that has covered in four straight overall and on the road. FIU has been a hot mess all season and hasn’t played anyone within 10 points since the end of September. I love hot messes when it comes to diner food and women, but not football teams. North Texas -10
Sunday – Colts @ Bills
At first glance the temptation is to grab a touchdown with the Colts. They’ve won five of seven, both losses coming in overtime. But, I hate to say it, Indy actually got outplayed by Jacksonville last Sunday. Buffalo defends the run well and ranks second in pressure rate. That means Jonathan Taylor should be kept in check while Carson Wentz struggles. Josh Allen is in for a monster day against a subpar Indy pass defense missing both starting safeties. I love my Indianapolis home, but Bills -7
Sunday – Dolphins @ Jets
The Dolphins are coming off an upset win over the Ravens, and they’ll certainly benefit from the mini-bye after playing on Thursday. The Dolphins defense has rounded into form the last few weeks after injuries hampered the secondary especially early in the year. On the other hand, the Jets defense is a dumpster fire, giving up 45-plus points in three of the team’s last four games, and the Mike White Experience has turned out to be like when you take home a hot girl from the bar but wake u next to a troll. Good for a night, but once you sober up you realize they aren’t near as attractive as they first seemed. Dolphins -3.5
Now hold on tight, but not too tight or you’ll make a mess, here comes the Money Shot!
**Sunday – Bengals @ Raiders**
Our fearless leader Cousin Luke will be in attendance for this game in Vegas so what better way to celebrate than by winning some money betting on it! The Bengals are coming off a bye week and it feels like that’s just what they needed to get headed in the right direction again. The Raiders on the other hand have had one hell of a rollercoaster a season, and between the Gruden situation, the Ruggs situation, and the whole “being the Raiders” situation, I just don’t think this team is ready to win a football game. Bengals -1
That’ll close the books on another week of degenerate football blogging! Don’t forget to comment, tweet at me, or DM me with any comments, criticisms, or locks you have!
Whether you are fading or following, Let’s Get Rich! Love you guys!