11:03 – a revelation occurred as we debated what was for lunch. Burger King is running a special of $1 for 10 chicken nuggets – extrapolate that out and that’s 100 nuggets for $10. We can get 100 chicken nuggets for $10.
11:04 – left the office. Okay, no, it was later but I pulled into the drive-thru confidently. Can I get “10-10 piece nuggets?” “Okay, so you want 100 nuggets?” “I guess if you put it that way, jeesh lady. Oh, and 2 iced coffees please.” $14.96 and enough food to kill an army. The crazy part? We didn’t wait. We drove up and they were like hey, here’s a bag full of sauces and here’s 100 nuggets you fat fucks! We drove off ecstatic. Time to unpack.
Methodology – we weren’t sure if we should go hard and fast at the beginning or slow play it. We had all afternoon free. We went hard.
11:41 – 100 nuggets, 4 ranch, 4 sweet and sour, 2 BBQ, 2 Zesty, 2 Buffalo, and 2 Honey Mustard sauces (I think we were shorted) but I just told the lady to surprise us, so you get what you get.
Adam polishes off 10 first. Luke not far behind. Misty hasn’t stopped talking.
11:46 – Adam has eaten 14 nuggets, Luke 11, Misty is talking a lot.
Everyone is eating their nuggets with their right hand. My keyboard is getting greasy.
11:48 (7 minutes elapsed) Adam has eaten 20 nuggets; Luke 15; Misty 9 – but she is STILL talking.
11:49 (8 minutes elapsed) regret is still far out of sight. Powering along.
11:51 (10 minutes elapsed) Adam has 28 down; Luke has 20 down; Misty has 12.
We ate ¾ (75/100) of the nuggets in 14 minutes and everyone looks a little fuzzy. Am I dying? What’s that gurgling sound? Lots of chewing. Lots of sounds. Misty STOPPED talking omg is Misty dead?
I offered Adam 10 more after 40 and he pre-puked a little. 17 minutes have gone by and we went way too hard way too quickly.
It’s 12:15. It’s been 34 minutes since this challenged started. Adam has eaten 40 nuggets. Luke has eaten 24 nuggets. Misty has eaten 20 nuggets. Somehow 16 nuggets remain and the group looks dejected. Misty left. She may never be seen again. No one has touched a nugget in a while. We’ve debated what’s truly inside the nuggets. Sounds like a Master Debater topic.
12:18 (37 minutes elapsed) Adam looks me in the eyes and says “GIVE ME THE LAST 10 PIECE.” Everything moved in slow motion. After one nugget, he retracts and says it was a bit aggressive.
I left to go to the bathroom (non-nugget related) and came back and Adam wasn’t moving. I’m not sure if it was a coma or what, but I’m not going to worry about it for a bit. I think he just snorted.
We’ve decided we can’t stop. I take a bite of my 25th nugget. No sauce. Just…stuff. You feel great and then once you have one you feel like you’re dying again. It’s actually crazy.
12:31 (50 minutes elapsed). There are 9 nuggets left and egos are rising. This is no longer a team effort. Individuality has crept in.
12:34 (53 minutes elapsed). We called Misty back. She went with the Zesty sauce and I heard a lone fan from outside my office cheer.
12:39 (58 minutes elapsed). I walked to get water and burped 8 times. I walked back in to see a lone nugget and I tossed that mother fucker in my mouth and did it. We ate 100 nuggets in 58 minutes.
Final Tallies:
Adam – 50 nuggets
Luke – 26 nuggets
Misty – 24 nuggets
**Note** I was definitely the weak link on the team and I’m sorry. I will only get better from here.
We’ve decided to make this a weekly event. More food challenges coming your way.
Geezus Adam. I don’t know if I’m impressed or extremely concerned.
Luke, your underwhelming performance was expected as usual, so I guess good job?
#1 I have seen Adam puke, not a pretty sight! Can’t imagine pre-puke is much prettier!
Secondly, very poor performance Luke, very disappointing. If I were not Gluten intolerant I am certain I could have stayed with Adam. (Note to self, I tried staying with him climbing a sand dune too). Well, maybe not, discretion is the better part of valor.
Finally, you missed submitting the day after report…
Mike, the day after report would have been as ugly as the noises I heard during the live event. Trust me, you want none of it! Thanks for the comment and I’ll work on my endurance.