The Cincinnati Bengals

This should be as no surprise to our long time fans – I am a huge fan of the Cincinnati Bengals.  So much that I’ve spent way too much time loving a team that never really loves me back.  I’ve gone to tailgate at 4-12 seasons just because tailgating is fun and the Bengals are great, even when they’re not.  I’ve gone to playoff games and sat in the stadium until it emptied after blowing it because there’s not a lot else to do when your team hasn’t won a playoff game since you’ve been born.  I’ve been there through the thick and thin – the best(ish) and worst – but now…now I’m starting to wonder.

This past weekend, the Bengals went down 28-0 to the Cleveland Browns at home.  Let that sink in.  While that’s sinking in – let’s do a quick recap.  I thought the Bengals would have a bad year.  They weren’t good last year (or the year before) and they did nothing to change that.  They fired their coach then they lol’d and jk’d us all to death by re-signing him to a 2 year deal because he won the last 2 games last year which really only fucked the Bengals out of a better draft pick.  Good work, guys.  I thought the Bengals would go 6-10 this year.  So initially – I didn’t have a lot of great expectations.  That is, until the Bengals started 4-1.  4-1!  With a road win in Indianapolis, a Thursday night PRIMETIME win against division rival Baltimore where they were up 20 points for most of the game.  Then they had a hell of a comeback to beat Atlanta AT ATLANTA with 9 seconds left in the game.  Then another great comeback where they took out Miami at home and at 4-1 looked to be a surprise team of the year.  Then Pittsburgh was coming to town.  It was a crazy back and forth game.  The Bengals scored with a minute and a half left to go up 1 point and the stadium was rockin’.  But we have all seen this before, right?  A minute and half with lots of time.  What did they do?  Let Pittsburgh march down the field.  Got a stupid 15 yard penalty.  Then they could still hold them for a long field goal attempt and possibly block it or hope for a miss or FUCKING ANYTHING – but they allowed them to march all over them and cover 80 yards like it was 8 and gave up a touchdown. 

Since then? 1-4 with the 1 being Tampa Bay (sorry Joe) where they still gave up over 500 yards.  189 points given up (that’s 31.5/game).  The Bengals have given up 4,836 yards this year.  That’s 440 yards per game.  They’re dead last in the league in pts per game allowed (31.5), dead last in yards allowed (440), 31st in pass yards allowed (292) and 31st in rush yards allowed (148).  The Bengals are 47/122 (38.5%) on 3rd downs.  Their opponents are 86/156 (55%…which is DEAD LAST). 

Offense isn’t any better.  25th in total yards – 17th in passing and 28th in rushing.  28th in the league in rushing.  They must have an awful running back.  Joe Mixon has rushed the ball 142 times (that’s 13 per game).  15th may not sound bad but the next closest is 39 on the team.  Let’s think about some other teams.  EZ E – 217 (workhorse), Gurley – 210 (workhorse), James Connor, David Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Kareem Hunt, Saquon Barkley, Jordan Howard – all of these players have more rushing attempts.  So maybe he isn’t productive and the Bengals are a passing team?  He averages 4.7 yards per carry.  That’s more than Alvin Kamra, James Conner, Kareem Hunt, Lamar Miller, and Adrian Peterson to name a few.

So why do the Bengals suck?  It started with the Pittsburgh collapse but this is a team that’s been on a downward trend.  Vontaze Burfict should not be on the team.  The guy is a cancer and has been bad for 3 years.  Dre Kirkpatrick is not a number 1 DB.  He’s not a number 2 DB.  He’s not a number 4 DB on a good team.  The Bengals won’t sign a fucking coach to stay for anything.  Mike Zimmer – head coach, Minnesota Vikings.  Very successful.  Jay Gruden – head coach, Washington Redskins, pretty damn successful.  Vance Joseph – head coach, Denver Broncos.  Hue Jackson, been head coach twice – leaving Cincinnati both times.  Been fired both times.  Re-signed by Bengals both times.  You want to know who will replace Marvin Lewis whenever the fuck he leaves?  Hue Jackson – who is a career 11-44-1.  He was 3-36-1 in Cleveland.  Since he left?  The Browns are 2-0 including a win against the Bengals.  It took Hue Jackson over two years to win 2 fucking games.  Let’s hire him.

Can the Bengals be fixed?  In short, no.  I can’t say I anticipate the Bengals beating anyone else this year.  Not this team.  The team is in so much of disarray that I honestly don’t care what they do.  I was relieved to see Jeff Driskel come in to replace a hurt Andy Dalton (and Driskel did well!)  I’ve also seen his name spelled 16 different ways on Twitter, so he’s pretty important.  The Bengals fucking suck.  And it’s not getting better.  If the Brown family owns the Bengals, they’ll never win.  If Marvin Lewis coaches the Bengals, they’ll never win – and those are only two of the issues.  Those two; however, are going to plague the city for a long, long time.  It’s a shame because Cincinnati is a fun city in need of sporting success.  Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s coming with the Bengals.  At least not anytime soon.

Deprecated: ltrim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /home/sekmmiwc5w6w/public_html/opinionsanonymous/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 3030

1 thought on “The Cincinnati Bengals”

  1. I hurt for you Luke. I think the entire city of Cincinnati is cursed because the Reds sure suck too. :\

Comments are closed.