Let me be honest, I have no clue how this is going to work. I had a lot of “think” time within the last week and this idea came into my mind. There’s a lot of talk about new wrestling promotions, with AEW coming out, and I thought, damnit, what if LUKE owned and ran his own wrestling promotion?! **PSA** If you do not like wrestling, why did you click on this? But if you’re here – give it a chance? Also, if you’re Luke W, KEEP READING, YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!
I’m bringing in Adam – he’s historically useless (I would link to some of his other work, but I can’t find any) – but I’m throwing him a bone. He is going to do half of this and help out (let us work through this).
So what is today for? Today is to tell you – holy shit, we’re doing this and also to ask for a little help. Here’s what we need help with:
- A name for our promotion (with a cool acronym, obviously)
- A name for our shows (probably 2 – one ran by GM Adam and one by me)
- FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK (and don’t tell us to f off because we won’t do it)
Terms to know:
Face – good guy
Heel – bad guy
Over – popular
Here’s the roster on day 1:
Face, Luchador
- Wears a mask because being a good guy isn’t about his face, it’s about his actions
- High flying, acrobatic style
- Loves helping people, very loyal
Heel, Jerk
- Pretty much the scum of the earth
- Doesn’t really care how he treats people
- Will cheat to win (and cheat to lose)
Heel, Mean
- Big muscle meany
- Broke out of prison and changed his name
- Personality of a pit bull (not the singer)
Face, Bulldozer
- Strong as an ox, sweet as a fox (I don’t know, it rhymed, he’s nice)
- Was a teacher in his past life
- Friendly to a fault
Face, Sweet Woman
- Gullible, but sweet
- Cautious former grocery store clerk
- Beautiful (even if the picture doesn’t do her justice)
Heel, Punk
- Former punk rock lead guitarist – kicked out of his own band for punching his drummer
- Has some anger issues which he takes out on opponents
- Unpredictable
Face, Goober
- On track to be youngest microbiologist of all time before a lab accident caused his hair to be permanently blue
- Has no short term memory
- Thinks he’s stronger than he actually is
Face, Clueless
- Should never be a real wrestler
- He thought he was in line to buy concert tickets and ended up at a wrestling tryout
Heel, Dangerous
- Former rock band roadie
- Left circuit due to cocaine addiction
- Now substitutes drug dependence on hurting people
Face, Outdoorsy
- Former Mexican drug lord who had to go on the run after burning down his bosses crop
- In witness protection
Wow – there you have it. The first 10 wrestlers at our unnamed promotion. Help us out and help us get ready for Season 1, Episode 1!
So this might be my favorite thing ever. I’ll try not to ramble too long, so let’s just work on the questions asked.
1. Promotion name: Wrestling Havoc – Opinions Anonymous, more commonly called WHOA. I know, super edgy. I’m much better at critiquing/analyzing than I am with being creative, so that was just the first thing that popped into my head.
2. Show names: I feel the names should cater to the GMs, who appear to be Luke and Adam. I feel Luke’s show should somehow tie into movie movies. I feel like a random word, like Action, fits along with the theme of random show words like Raw or Thunder. Adam’s should be something that he provides to the podcast as well, like… uh… what does he add again? Is he even still around? Maybe something like Absence or Don’t Forget to Write a Blog.
3. I want to provide feedback/first thoughts on each of the wrestlers, but due to time constraints, I’ll have to save that for a different comment later on.
I’m probably completely wrong on every single one of these characters, but I wanted to give my first impression on each one just based on the minimum information given.
The Flash- Probably very talented, but masked wrestlers (at least in the US) typically have a ceiling. There’s only one Rey Mysterio, and that’s because fans don’t connect to masked wrestlers as well. Facial expressions play a large part in the story being told, and it’s much more difficult to show those emotions through a mask. He will have success, but likely struggle to break past the midcard.
Scumbag Sam- What a piece of garbage. Just looking at this guy makes me hate him. Sure, he will get booed, but will people pay money to come and boo him? Will people pay money to see him get beaten up? A good heel can sell as many tickets as a good face, but I have a hard time believing he is going to reach that level. He will be disliked, he will get booed, but half the audience probably won’t care either way.
Sid Snider- Simple works. He’s a big dude. He’s bad. He went to prison. He is immediately credible on all accounts. I don’t want to mess with this guy, and I’d be worried for the well-being of anyone who steps into the ring with him. Nothing pretty about him, he’s just going to destroy you. Sky is the limit for this guy, unless he goes back to prison.
The Quake- He’s nice. Okay, but why should I care about him? He’s going to need to find something that fans can latch onto. The first thing that came to my mind was a wrestler I saw when I was probably 8 years old. He was a large dude, probably pushing 400 pounds, but he was as nice as can be. He didn’t want to wrestle because he didn’t want anyone to get hurt. He also carried a stuffed Elmo with him to the ring. He loved Elmo. His opponents must not have, because they would always go from picking on him to picking on Elmo. At that point, he would snap and just absolutely destroy his opponents. Was it a million dollar gimmick? Of course not, but it was entertaining! The Quake is going to have to find something that takes him to that place as well in order to stand out from the crowd.
Lady Luck- After Sid, probably the person here that terrifies me the most. A former grocery store clerk, yet she’s still sweet? I have worked at Walmart in many positions, including as the assistant manager over the front end. I can promise you, those are some ladies you don’t want to mess with! Most people don’t realize the constant verbal abuse (and sometimes even physical) that customers put them through every single day. So to still be all smiling and sweet on the other side of that? Something is off in her head. I don’t trust her, and neither should her opponents. She’s sweet, but she will also destroy your soul. You have been warned.
Karnage- By far the most interesting of the group. He can go so many different ways. A lot of his success will depend on his charisma. If it’s lacking, he will flounder. However, with his lead guitar experience and being unpredictable, I imagine him being full of charisma. Charisma that fans will love. Sure, this guy is a heel, but I don’t see that lasting. Along the lines of Stone Cold, I see this guy doing a bunch of things that a heel does, but people loving it anyway. I get a sort of Corey Graves vibe from him. He could either be irrelevant or shoot to the top of the card, but it’s hard to imagine anything in between.
Sphinx- I really don’t have much to say on this one. He appears to be more of an entertainer than a wrestler. Don’t see him having much success in terms of wins and losses, but it’s not always about that. If he can provide quality entertainment, fans will love him regardless of his record.
The Fluke- Eugene? I think this is Eugene.
Smash- Perfect midcard heel. Similar to Sid, he’s credible. If he gets back on the cocaine, he may even surpass Sid. With a hammer as his weapon of choice, I really don’t want to cross this guy. His biggest downfall is just how strong all the heels on this roster seem to be. There are only so many spots at the top.
Lil’ Stinker- I’m a bit surprised at him being a face. Other than Mustafa Ali currently, I’m struggling to think of people from different cultures coming in as faces. Maybe that’s just Vince’s racism showing through. Masked guys can be good, everyone else is evil. I like that your promotion is trying something different. He will be great for bringing in different demographics and boosting ratings. Not sure where he stands on the card, but he’s definitely someone worth keeping an eye on.
I’m probably wrong on every single one of these characters, but that’s fine. If you stuck around to read every word of this, I apologize. I’ll leave the blog posts up to the professionals (?) from now on.
I need tag teams and a good faction. Also I feel like the GM/Commissioners are needed, they can make or break the show (insert Shane McMahon who I love but needs to stuff the f out of the ring)
Also are these women old school divas (just for show?) or actually wrestling. I’m good with either.
Also need a Paul Heyman type of guy…he is a legend.