Season 1, Episode 1
Hello! Luke and Adam here today to announce the start of our brand new wrestling promotion! If you haven’t heard yet, check out the introduction here. As a quick reminder, here is the current roster as it stands today:
Faces:
The Flash
The Quake
Sphinx
The Fluke
Lil’ Stinker
Lady Luck
Heels:
Scumbag Sam
Sid Snider
Karnage
Smash
Adam: In the main event tonight, you will see a battle of epic proportions. You will see Karnage battle The Quake!
Luke: You’re also going to see Smash take on The Flash.
Adam: And in our final matchup of the evening, you’ll see Sid Snider take on Sphinx.
Luke: And that match starts right now!
The first match of the night sees a battle of good vs bad with the deplorable Sid Snider taking on the mad scientist Sphinx.
Sid Snider marches to the ring offering up zero high fives to the children and is even seen stealing one kids cotton candy only to throw it on the ground and stomp it, the boo birds are raining down on him, which appears to be making him stronger.
Sphinx makes his way to the ring slowly with a confused look on his face, maybe he wasn’t expecting to wrestle tonight? Regardless he arrives at the ring and immediately takes a boot to the mid-section, prompting the referee to ring the bell and get this match started.
Calling this a match might be a bit of an overstatement. Sphinx was completely over matched from the beginning. The initial boot to the gut clearly stunned him and the following kick to the side of the head deemed him mostly unconscious for the remainder of the match. However, a quick pin was not in the cards either, a pin at all would not be in the cards it turns out. After 8 minutes of endless beating Sid threw Sphinx out of the ring and let him lose by the merciless 10 count as he could not manage to get back into the ring (or even stand up) in those 10 seconds.
Match 1 went to the heel, Sid Snider.
The Fluke wanders backstage looking around sheepishly. He turns and runs into Lady Luck, quite literally knocking her down. He fumbles through a few lines trying to apologize as Lady Luck bashfully smiles and accepts his apology. As the two talk, their bond seems to grow stronger. It somehow appears by the end of the segment that The Fluke has fluked into yet another great thing. The camera pans away as Lady Luck remains smiling when The Fluke leaves. Bizarre.
The second match of the night sees another battle of good vs bad with obvious heel Smash taking on the lesser luchador The Flash.
The Flash enters the ring first, taking down the ramp in a full sprint and shooting into the ring under the bottom rope on a belly slide, after some bounces and gyrations he climbs the turnbuckle and shows out for his fan(s).
Smash comes down the ramp exactly like you would expect him to, slowly and looking angry. Hammer in hand and once he climbs into the ring he immediately goes after Flash with the hammer, luckily the referee is there to prevent any real contact which would get this match canceled, and Flash likely sent to the ER.
Match begins and the sheer size difference is astonishing, bringing to light the question of “who the hell allowed this match to happen?” Flash is looking completely out manned. Flash is trying to use his quickness but it just is not a match for the strength of Smash. As the match winds down it becomes obvious that Smash relies solely on strength and not enough on his stamina as he begins to take the shots from Flash much less graceful and even goes down once after a flying dropkick to the chest. Smash quickly realizes that while he is the easy favorite in the match, he must end it soon to have a chance. Flash climbs the turnbuckle and attempts a crossbody to Smash, which ends with him being caught. He is now hung out to dry as Smash is looking for a place to toss him, the referee begins rushing him to make a decision or he will be forced to just drop him as he is holding up the match, Smash obliges by tossing him at the ref knocking him to the ground. Flash, a bit of a loyal guy stays down to check on the ref, big mistake, Smash gets to his hammer and delivers a blow to the back of Flash’s mask causing him to collapse in the middle of the ring, as the ref gets himself up off the mat he sees Smash covering Flash for the pin and delivers the 3 count, match over. Smash is your victor (although a dirty win).
The main event of the night is here. The Quake comes out to a thunderous ovation (no pun intended) as the fans are really behind him. He gives high fives on his way down the aisle and the fans love him! Karnage enters next to some punk rock music, fitting his personality nicely. Boos fill the arena as Karnage waves off the fans. He doesn’t need them just as he didn’t need his drummer that he punched in the face.
The match starts off with The Quake showing his superior strength and shoving Karnage to the mat several times. Karnage then takes the heel way out and dodges out of the ring to avoid Quake’s heavy blows. Quake is tired of waiting and begins chase, but Karnage catches him coming back into the ring (classic heel move). Karnage takes advantage and gains the upper hand by striking quick, but also mouthing off a bit too much.
Quake eventually regains his strength and turns the tables, hitting Karnage with a serious of quick and heavy strikes. The crowd starts getting fired up as Quake continues his assault. He goes for his finisher, the Earth Quake, but Karnage escapes and ducks out of the ring again. The referee starts a 10 count, but Quake isn’t being so patient. As the ref holds Quake back, Karnage sneaks in a low blow. The ref didn’t see it! Karnage hits Quake with the Bloodbath. He covers him – 1, 2, 3. Karnage wins! The fans are very unhappy but the referee did not see a thing. What an ending to the first ever event of WHOA. The three heels all won in three different ways this week. It looks like this promotion is going to take some edge to get ahead. Stay tuned as I’m sure these two will be facing off again very soon.
Standings:
Sid Snider 1-0
Smash 1-0
Karnage 1-0
The Quake 0-1
Flash 0-1
Sphinx 0-1