Time for your weekly roundup of weird news stories. Let’s dive right in!
Runners get married halfway through Detroit marathon
Normally, I’m all for people doing whatever makes them happy. But these two have taken it too far! I’ve always had a fear that I’ll meet the perfect girl and we’ll start dating only for me to discover that she’s one of those people who runs a 5k on Thanksgiving. I can’t fathom someone coming up with the idea that they should get married IN THE MIDDLE OF A 26.2 MILE RUN! If someone ever asks you to marry them in the middle of a marathon you should run 26.2 miles directly away from them and never talk to them again. But whatever, maybe I’m just lonely and jealous. I hope they get divorced in the middle of a triathlon.
Company targets cold noses with ‘nosewarmers’
I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw this I thought that it was just the dumbest thing I’d ever seen (and I live with an IU grad, so I’ve seen a lot of dumb things) But then I spent more than 5 minutes outside in 30 degree weather and now I’m thinking they might not be so bad. It makes sense, we have scarves for our necks, hats for our heads, ear muffs for our ears, but that poor nose is left to just get blasted by cold air. You know what, sign me up, put it on my Christmas list. I want to be the poster boy for nose warmers (please sponsor us @Nose warmers)
Legal marijuana helps Canadian Girl Guide sell cookies
Genius, simply put, this girl is a genius. She might be my hero! Setting up shop to sell cookies outside of a marijuana store on the FIRST day that Canada has legal weed is a boss move. No big surprise she sold out in only 45 minutes. I’m not going to admit to using drugs here, but I can imagine that after visiting a marijuana store it might put you in the mood to crush a box of Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs, I assume. The little girl’s father said,
“We were looking at it as an opportunity to educate her on what marijuana is and the fact that it’s legal in Canada now. We talked about what it was and what it means for people who want to use it and people who don’t want to use it”
There’s a nice little friendly reminder for all the parents to talk to your kids about drugs, and how some drugs aren’t that bad, they just make you want to eat cookies.
Divers clear masses of wipes from clogged sewer pumps
For those of you who have been fans since the TBPYNH days (RIP) you’ll know that we’ve had some heated debates about whether or not these wipes are flushable. It would seem our resident nerd expert and environmentalist – Andy – was right after all. Score one for the nerds today! So seriously, if you’re going to use these things DO NOT FLUSH THEM. Or else some poor soul literally has to dive into the sewer to go fish it out. Which begs the question: How does one become a sewer diver? Did he finish last in diving school? Or did someone spot him dumpster diving and say “Buddy, do I have the perfect job for you” Either way, shout out do those guys for dealing with this shitty situation.
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