My (and Your) Amazon History

There was a little blurb going around town that you can now find out your entire Amazon purchase history and everyone is showing you how to do it…but NO ONE is explaining what theirs looked like! You know what, I’m bucking the trend. I’m here to tell you how to view your Amazon history AND show you what mine looked like!!! (*disclaimer – I am not responsible for what you’re about to see. Well, technically, I am – but don’t @ me)

First, the boring part. Log into Amazon (on the computer) and click on “Accounts & Lists” (you have to click it). Then, under “Ordering and shopping preferences”, click on “Download order reports”. Then you select a date range (Amazon nicely has your original year so just go January 1 of that year to today’s date). Then shazam! Or in my case….loading, loading, loading, loading, error, loading, done. It’ll be ready by tomorrow maybe? They’ll email you and tell you or it’ll just pop up in excel if you don’t leave the page.

The stats – I’ve ordered 605 things from Amazon in a 10 year period. That’s only 5 things a month! Not bad! The first thing I ever ordered? The Dallas Cowboys Family Cookbook – for my mom for Christmas in 2009. You’re welcome mom!

Some more Christmas gifts for my parents that year – apparently I was splurging. A couple Chris Henry RIP Bengals posters (RIP to a legend), Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman – the complete Series….wait…what?

That’s right. I was in love with Jane Seymour before she was flopping her tits out on Wedding Crashers. And seriously, look at Joe Lando. If you can’t fall in love with that guy, you can’t fall in love.

Moving on – about 97 DVDs, A Walk To Remember (it was a rough time in my life), Dirty Dancing…The Q.W.A.K.E. Kids…I bought my own book! (Greensburg Times Best Seller).

Okay, let’s cut to the question you’re all wanting to know. $14,992.09. That’s it. That’s the number. I’ve spent $15 grand on Amazon. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. But you can sort by category and I bought something that’s category is “plastic comb” for $.95? It’s a complicated thing, Amazon. I bought Dance off the Inches: Hip Hop Party, probably for the music?!

Further breaking down the $15k that I’ve spent. It started slowly…only $92 in 2009. That number jumped in 2010 to $279 but then a couple down years. Only $147 and $38 in 2011 and 2012 respectively – makes sense. Broke college kid who just turned 21. Then 2013 happened. I bought a house and obviously needed to furnish it. $461. Then $797 in 2014 and somewhere along the trail, I fell the fuck off the wagon.

The next 4 years are a bit ugly…


So between 2016 and 2017 my spending TRIPLED on Amazon and somehow it crept up another 122% from 2017 to 2018 and thus far in 2019 I’m not trending great, spending an average of $262 per month.

So…I’m going to go pick up a second job, probably puke a little, and try to find that damn plastic comb. Have you checked out your Amazon spending habits? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever bought (that you didn’t need)? Let us know below!

1 thought on “My (and Your) Amazon History”

  1. The question I am struggling with is WHY? As a woman in her “prime” AND a great “Prime Member” of Amazon, I do not need to see a list of my purchases. I can just tell you that I needed every damned thing I’ve ever purchased. Well, that head messager apparatus thingy that was impossible to put together may have been questionable … No….Wait. ..if I ever DO get it put together I bet it’s fantastic. Yep, I needed it all.

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