So there I was, just easing into my daily evening routine of not doing a damn thing productive and scrolling through Twitter when I came across this absolute beauty of a tweet.
I know right! I couldn’t believe it either! I probably read the tweet 5 or 6 times just trying to fully digest what might possibly bet the greatest sports story, no, just the downright greatest story never told. So I decided to a little investigative journalism and see what I could find out!
Let’s set the stage – June 6th, 1974. A beautiful summer night. The Texas Rangers are playing a baseball game at the Cleveland Indians. The Indian’s have what might possibly be the single greatest marketing ploy in history. They were going to sell ice cold 12oz beers for the criminally low price of TEN CENTS A BEER! When was the last time you bought anything for TEN CENTS?? I’m guessing it was some sort of silly eraser at the bookstore in elementary school. You know what’s way cooler than erasers? Beer. For those of you keeping score at home, that means you could get a 24 pack of delicious cold ones for approximately $2.40. And it turns out the great people of Cleveland decided to take full advantage of the deal. According to reports – 25,314 fans attended that game (double what they had anticipated) and they got to hammering down those then cent brews right away. And as people who are drinking excessively tend to do, some shenanigans ensued. Lets take a look at some of the reported incidents shall we?
- A woman attempted to kiss home plate umpire Nestor Chylak.
- A father and son deepened their familial bonds by mooning the players together
- A second woman flashed the crowd from the on-deck circle.
Forget greatest baseball game ever, this sounds like it might have been the greatest party ever! Props to the fan who tried to kiss the umpire, that’s real commitment to doing whatever it takes to get your team the win, really puts a lot of our fandom to shame. And who among us hasn’t ever gotten the urge to drop their pants with their dad and moon a crowd of 20,000? If you say you haven’t then you’re a liar! And how could we forget the star of the show? The woman who ran into the on deck circle and gave everyone a peek at her screwballs. Talk about getting caught looking.
I mean, there’s absolutely no way this could’ve gone wrong! Right? Well as the old saying goes “It is possible to have too much a good thing” and in the 9th inning after one fan ran onto the field and tried to take a player’s hat, both benches cleared and then hundreds of fans ran onto field and madness erupted. Players had to avoid flying chairs and literal fist fights just to get to safety, no amount of watching Monday Night Raw can prepare you for that kind of carnage. The game ended 5-5 and there were 9 fans arrested.
So while the story may not have a happy ending, I will choose to remember the good times. Like the cheap beer and the mooning and the boobs! The good stuff! And maybe there’s a lesson here about not drinking too much so hey you reading this, try not to get so drunk! (unless you wanna go do some Vegas Bombs with me, then let’s get fucked up)