Happy Super Bowl Sunday to all you lovely people out there! The Super Bowl is as much a cultural phenomenon as it is a sporting event, even if you don’t care about football you probably will be attending a Super Bowl party. There’s something for everyone out there to enjoy today: if you love big time football games featuring two top notch teams you will certainly find that in today’s matchup between the Chiefs and the 49ers, if you’re in it for the food I guarantee you will find more buffalo chicken dip than you know what to do with (and if you don’t like buffalo chicken dip then you can fuck right off because that stuff is incredible. It’s so good that I’m pretty sure that if it was around during Jesus’ life we wouldn’t have to do that weird “no meat on Friday’s during lent” thing because even my guy JC wouldn’t want us to have a day where we can’t enjoy a good tray of buffalo chicken dip) and if you’re into gambling, well, my goodness is today like your Christmas! So, without further ado, here is my obnoxiously long list of everything I’m betting on for the big game.
Who Wins the Game?
I’m rolling with the 49ers. The chiefs are a very good team with a fun offense but in both of their playoff games thus far they have gone down early and had to come from behind to win. If that happens again, the 49ers are built to keep that explosive Chiefs offense off of the field limiting their ability to come from behind. I think the 49ers will be the best defense the chiefs have faced all season and will find a way to contain Patrick Mahomes and get the victory.
I’m going Under 54.5. That just seems like entirely too many points based off the above-mentioned defense and playing style of the 49ers. (That being said if these teams light up the scoreboard, I will be the last to complain about it, I mean we all love points don’t we folks.)
Tails never fails, no need overthink this one.
Total Players to Throw a Pass
Over 2.5 – I feel like with two offensive minded gurus like Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan leading the way for these teams they will draw up a trick play to get a pass thrown by a non-QB. Piggy backing off that I’m also betting on over 2.5 players to complete a pass. When this trick play is called, it will work.
Color of Gatorade
Red – both teams are red, seems like a no brainer here.
Jersey Number to Score the First TD
Under 26.5 – On the Chiefs’ side, 35 of their 46 touchdowns in the regular season were by a player with a jersey number under 26.5 and four of the other 11 were scored by Darrel Williams, who hasn’t been active in two months. On the 49ers, we’ll have to dodge the big names of Raheem Mostert, George Kittle, and Kendrick Bourne, but there are a lot of options under 26.5 that essentially match those heavy hitters
Mahomes Passing Yards Over 300
As I mentioned above, I think the 49ers will win this game, that means they will be leading which will force the Chiefs to throw the ball, Mahomes will rack up plenty of yards, just in a losing effort.
There has only been one player in the history of the Super Bowl to win MVP on a losing team (Chuck Howley for the Cowboys in 1971) so if I’m picking the 49ers then I better pick one of their players to win MVP, well actually I’m going to bet on two of them:
Raheem Mostert +900 – Raheem has exploded this postseason and is primed to continue that today, plus he went to Purdue, so I’ve got no shame in saying this is a homer bet.
Kwan Alexander +15000 – This one is more of a longshot but if the 49ers are going to win, their defense is going to have to play well, and Kwan is their best defensive player so it’s not totally unbelievable that he could take home the MVP.
I hope everyone has a great and safe Super Bowl Sunday! Good luck out there! Let’s Get Rich!